When work friends become bosses: Strategies to handle the transition

We spend a lot of time with those we work with — sometimes more than with our families. Inevitably, work friendships will form. And with the prevalence of social media blurring what’s private and what’s public — a Harvard Business Review article by Benjamin Laker, Charmi Patel, Ashish Malik and Pawan Budhwar — a work friendship can quickly become a traditional friendship. You’ll learn about their personal lives (according to HBR, 32 % of workers are friends with their boss on Facebook; 19% follow each other on Instagram; and 7% on Snapchat), you’ll discuss mutual interests and you may do things together outside of work. 

But what happens when you become your friend’s boss at work? What happens when the person you went out drinking with on Thursdays to let off some steam and complain about the boss becomes your direct report? Suffice to say, your friendship will change in a hurry. Things can and will get even more complicated with this dynamic in a family business. It can be a lot to handle. 

Becoming your work friend or family member’s boss, or vice versa, is without a doubt one of the hardest transitions you can face in your professional life. The equal relationship you once shared is now upended by new power dynamics  —in an instant. If you’re the new boss, how much of your personal life should you continue to share? If you’re the subordinate, how do you create boundaries? And if the dynamic plays out in a family business, how can you successfully separate the two? In my work as a family business consultant, I have seen this scenario play out many times.